Day 6

I woke up to another beautiful sunny morning. I went to work early today so I could get some things done while the office was extra quiet. It paid off as I got so much accomplished today.

Today was Lila’s funeral, what an hour filled with raw emotion. There were lots of tears and even some laughter. It was a perfect celebration of her life. I know she was there with us, I could feel her warmth. Such a personal ceremony, one of her friends read a poem at the end of the eulogy. I loved it and it is exactly how Lila lived her life.

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;

This is to have succeeded.  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was emotionally exhausted by the afternoon. On my walk back to work from the funeral I saw something sparkling in the snow. The sunshine was beaming on it, but I just kept walking. Something inside me said to turn back. It turned out that it was a shiny dime. I have heard that dimes are considered a sign from angels, however I have never ever found one on the ground before (only lucky pennies). I googled  it when I got back and it said when you find a dime, it is supposed to be a sign from the other side - family members, friends, and anyone else that wishes to reach out. The dimes usually appear when you are struggling with an issue or need reassurance in some way.  This made me smile and I had a sense of peace the remainder of the day. I was grateful for that little dime.

On another note, I booked a yoga/spa vacation on the weekend. I have never been outside Canada or United States before as I usually spend my vacations visiting my parents in Florida. Well nobody told me that you needed 4 needles to go to Mexico, I nearly passed out when I found out yesterday!

I have a tremendous fear of needles so that news felt like a deal breaker – too late though, the trip is already bought and paid for, no turning back. The needle phobia stemmed from a traumatic event in my childhood, back when I got my booster shot before grade one. I remember the nurse showing me the needle and I immediately screamed. She instinctively slapped me across the face to try to calm me down. Sadly it was the wrong thing to do as I have been afraid of needles ever since.  I don’t cry or scream, it is the anticipation of the needle that scares me the most and I internalize it, a feeling of anxiety is how it would be best described. Fear on the inside.

I am very grateful for my amazing doctor and nurse.  They have been my doctor and nurse since I was born. They know everything about me, including my fear of needles. So today I went in with no expectations, and surprisingly it was a pretty good experience, not fun but I really did good. I think this trip may just get me over my fear of needles. The next needle is in a week, we will see ;)

A good friend shared this video with me a few months ago. Tonight I felt like watching something uplifting and this came to mind. "A Story for Tomorrow: A Cinematic Meditation on the Human Condition". If you don't have time to watch it all, start video at 3.04.

Day 5

Today was a very challenging day for me to express gratitude. I tried to be grateful for the little things like an extra-long hot shower, German chocolate cake coffee, the gorgeous sunshine on my walk to work - that seemed to make the minus 26 wind chill toasty warm. But my heart was heavy.

I haven’t mentioned this yet on my blog, as my positive side has been trying to block it out until I am strong enough to face it. My best friend’s Mom died suddenly of a massive brain aneurysm. She was only 53 years old. Shanna and I have been friends since grade 1 so I was very close with her Mom. She had a smile that lit up the room and when you looked in her eyes you knew how much she genuinely cared about you. Just last week I saw Shanna and her Mom and we were planning to go to breakfast together – the three of us - later this week. Sadly we never got the chance.

I will always be grateful for having the opportunity to have known Lila - how loved I felt when she hugged me, how much she cared about the needs of others before her own. She was such a caregiver and put her heart into everything. I loved Lila. I would do anything to bring her back, she had so much life left to live. She sure touched the hearts of many.

Through adversity it is very difficult to be grateful, but like the speaker said in the video from yesterday (The 3 A’s of Awesome) – between high highs we will all have lumps and bumps – you too will be tossed into the well. You will have twists in your stomach and holes in your heart. And when that bad news washes over you and that pain sponges and soaks in, you always have two choices:

1) you can swirl and twirl and gloom and doom forever, or

2) you can grieve and then face the future with newly sober eyes

Having a great attitude means that no matter how difficult it is or what pain hits you, choosing to move forward and take baby steps into the future.

This quote was of comfort to me when I lost a friend to a fire before Christmas, and after rereading it, it offers comfort tonight as well:

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” - Louise Erdrich

Ending tonight’s gratitude journal entry with a very inspirational video about a young man that is grateful for everything he has. His attitude is so contagious - he is spreading his love of life to everyone he meets.

He cheered up my spirit. Gratitude is such a virtue. It warms my heart. 

Day 4

What a gift today was - my office was closed due to the snow storm. My first snow day of the year, I savoured every minute.

I caught up on my “for a rainy day” to-do-list while listening to soulful music with lots of meaning. This afternoon I went for a nice long winter wonderland walk with great friends. We walked all around Charlottetown, the sidewalks were not shoveled but we were dressed warm and it was a good little hike over, around and through the many snow drifts. We had fun, made snow angels like we were kids again, laughing and being silly. I love those kind of moments :) It was so great to watch my little 11 year old dog play in the snow like he was a one year old puppy, he had such a fun day. He is so sweet, I love him to bits.

Then I spent a couple of hours warming up by the fireplace, sipping on delicious David’s Tea and reading a great book.

It was so nice to not have to drive anywhere today - I saw cars slipping all over the road even with winter tires, and I was grateful I had no where I needed to be.

Moksha classes were cancelled so I spent some time in my little cozy meditation room listening to my meditation iphone apps, then had a Himalayan salt bath. Grateful for this very relaxing stormy day :)

I found this TEDx with Neil Pasricha - "The 3 A's of Awesome". It was worth the 18 minutes but if you only have half that time start the video at 7.12. If you only have a few minutes start the video at 14.19. I really want to read his book after seeing this video.

Day 3

I woke up this morning to a soft and fluffy snowy day. When Deuce and I went for our walk the city was untouched, no footprints except our own – the quietness felt like we were the only beings on earth. So peaceful, I love Sunday mornings.

I went to Yin this morning. One class with Airlee is like a week vacation for your mind and spirit. I love the coziness of the yoga bolsters, pillows and blankets and the way my body feels after we hold our poses for 5 minutes each. The background music and her soft words of inspiration make the 75 minute class fly by way too quickly. I just love the way I feel the rest of the day, almost like a perma-smile from the inside out.

So much that when I went to the grocery store this afternoon the huge lineups and the disgruntled people maneuvering through the packed store didn’t seem to affect my mood at all.  I was in a lineup and the grocery clerk told me to put the closed sign behind me and that he was not taking any more people through the check out. A lady came up and got in line and I told her that he wasn’t accepting any more people. I told her that since she only had about 10 items maybe if she asked he may let her go in the lineup. She seemed frustrated and said she was not in the mood to try to persuade anyone. I then told her she could go in front of me.

This gesture seemed to put her in a different frame of mind, she started to smile and told me about an Oprah show she watched about people letting others in the lineup and they gauged how the person responded to the gesture. We instantly hit it off and started to talk about other things as well. She insisted that she would not go in front of me, she decided to ask the man if she could go at the back of the lineup instead. He said no but something came over him, and he changed his mind and said okay, yes. I complimented him on his kindness.

Now the three of us ended up having a connection, we talked as if we were all of a sudden old friends  and complimenting each other. The lady bought the grocery clerk a chocolate bar to thank him. She then thanked us both for turning her day around and said that good karma would come to us for our kindness :) She even helped me put my grocery bags in the cart and the three of us couldn't stop smiling at each other. It felt good, complete strangers connecting through a small situation of kindness.

I had another refreshing snowy walk this afternoon, Lenka, Deuce, Max and I were covered head to toe with snow, we looked like walking snow people by the end of it ;) I warmed up with my first ever Timothy’s Hot White Chocolate Cocoa – so delicious.

I made some adorable chocolate football berries for Devin’s Superbowl party and everyone loved them. Jerry is in Florida so he missed out on trying the cute little healthy desserts. Grateful for good friends, an exciting Superbowl and being cozy indoors on this chilly evening.

Here is a video I found on gratitude, the lady at the store had mentioned Oprah today and then I remembered Oprah also has a gratitude journal – I had no idea she has been journaling for 16 years. Focusing on all the good - from fresh flowers to the kindness of a stranger, Oprah says acknowledging these things made her more receptive to the goodness in her life.

Day 2

Today was a quiet day but I still found lots of little things to be grateful for – life’s simple pleasures. Saturdays are always a treat regardless of what is planned :)

Today I slept in until 9ish, it was so lovely to wake up to sunshine streaming in the window (as through the week it is dark when I rise) and breathing in the smell of fresh clean sheets. My body was tight from yoga so to be able to take as much time as I needed to stretch in bed felt so good. Then my little dog came over to greet me, ready for his morning walk. He was so thoughtful to let me sleep late on this Saturday morning. It was a brisk cold walk but I was bundled up and enjoyed the cool air.

I had a relaxing day - got lots accomplished but took my time doing things. Tonight I had a fabulous dinner at Sim’s Steak House with some amazing friends. I don’t usually indulge on dessert but I gave in to my sweet tooth, and I sure was happy that I did. I tried sticky date pudding (my first time ever) with Cow’s Ice Cream and caramel sauce - I savoured every delicious heavenly bite.

I found this TEDx video today, it is a couple of years old but I had not seen it before. It features Louie Schwartzberg award-winning cinematographer, director, and producer. It includes his short film on Gratitude and Happiness. It is described as a stunningly beautiful piece, reminding us of the precious gift of life, and the beauty all around us. The inspiring video of the child and the elderly man starts at 3.45, in case you don’t have time to watch the full TEDx.

The quote that impacted me the most in this video was:

“Open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you. Everyone whom you will meet on this day will be blessed by you. Just by your eyes, by your smile, by your touch, by your presence. Let the gratefulness overflow into blessings all around you. And then it will really be a good day.”

Day 1

Gratitude is something I have been very conscious of the past few years. I started a gratitude journal two years ago and every night before I go to bed, I take a moment to reflect on my day and jot down a few notes on what I was most thankful for. I found that after a while I looked forward to this reflection time and it was very easy to keep up the journaling.  Every so often I will skim through the highlights of my year and it makes me feel so blessed – not just for the big things like family and friends, but the little things too – the moments that have made me smile or warmed my heart.

Before Christmas I experienced a moment that changed my life forever. That moment is etched in my mind 24/7. That moment my heart stopped for a split second and time appeared to stand still. That moment made me appreciate every single breath I get the chance to take. Time is the most precious asset we have; we need to make the most of it as we will never know when our time could be up.

The night of this “awakening” moment I posted this message on my facebook:

“What a day… I have heard the expression before “I feel like I have been hit by a truck” but never did I think I would actually be able to say I now know how that feels. It has been a very traumatic day, thankfully no broken bones; the rest will heal in time. This was just another reminder of how precious life is; you just never know what will happen from one day to the next, even for simple things like walking across the street at a cross walk. I am grateful that I have a little guardian angel watching over me, as it could have been so much worse. I am very lucky for such wonderful family and friends, you mean the world to me. Thanks for your calls, messages and emails; it is great to feel so loved xo”

I look at this message a month after it happened and I see how living a life of gratitude has really changed me. Even through the bad I was able to see the good, the things I am thankful for, the positive side to an unfortunate circumstance. My gratitude journal has made me a more mindful person. Instead of letting this accident set me back, it has made me stronger. After reflecting on everything that happened that day and during the few weeks of physical and emotional healing, I decided that 2013 was going to be the year for gratitude, kindness and mindfulness. 

I am blogging my gratitude journal for the month of February, something that I have always kept between me, the pen and the pages. I am hoping my blog will inspire others to get in the practice of writing down their thoughts of appreciation - it is such an incredible feeling. You won’t believe me until you try it for yourself. You don’t have to do a blog or journal to reap the benefits, even scribble a few things down on a sticky note when they come to mind, or when you close your eyes at night, let your thoughts of gratitude run through your mind before you drift off to sleep.

I will also be posting about gratitude initiatives and inspirational actions, quotes, videos and photos. I am aiming for the month of February and beyond to wake up every day with a smile on my face and a happy heart regardless of what is in store for me that day. I will cherish every minute life has to offer me.

 ~~~ DAY 1 ~~~

It is given that I am grateful for my amazing family, friends, colleagues, a wonderful place to live, a job I love, excellent health, a positive outlook on life etc.. 

The remainder of my blog is not going to be about the big things I am grateful for, I will be blogging about the things others may take for granted - the little things in life that pass us by if we are not paying attention. So today, I will be thankful for the big things I just mentioned above - because without those incredible things in my life, I would not be the person I am today. I am thankful every day for being so lucky to have this wonderful life and I never take these precious gifts for granted.